Definition of "Jonathan Goh"

Been busy lately. Guess I'm dealing with life. Last week we had 2 ball games, 1 on Friday and another on Sunday. We won both games and we are on a winning streak (3 straight wins). I think our team is heading the right direction. Our team is becoming stronger in teamwork and our spirits are rising up high. As far as I can see, the only thing our team has that brings us this far is our desire and will to win. I believe we gained the respect of seniors and audiences who watch us play on the court. Not only did we had strong teamwork we had strong support from friends who came to watch us play. A very big thank you to them. Mid terms coming in a week, have to study hard.

Teammates & Friends

I'm Jonathan Goh, a 19 year old kid who had a really screwed up childhood. Kept this heartache deep in my heart for a very long time. Life was good in my early days as a kid. Looking back now I was a spoiled brat but i was just a kid. Then, when I was 11, my dad and mum migraded to the states. Me and my little brother was left behind with my Uncle and grandma. Back then, I could not understand much because I was just a spoiled kid. My mum eventually came back after a year because she then decided that she didn't want to leave her kids behind. Since then I've been living my life in two different worlds. One part of my world is living with my grandma and uncle and another part of my world is living with my mum and a so-called stepfather (SCS). Living with my grandma has never been easy, the environment was uncomfortable to live in. She has a bad mouth, gossiping, backstabbing, if I were to mention all her bad attitudes I can't finish mentioning them, she was always right even when she was wrong. It made myself unable to smile and I have been avoiding my grandma because I hated her. Quarrels frequently happened. She hated my mum and she used to criticised my mum in front of me. Besides that, we were disturbed by loan sharks and so on. Thats just half of my life. Living with my mum and my SCS has never been easy either. Me and my brother was kept strictly disciplined by him. From the eating table to how we acted, everything was controlled. Thats why I'm who I am now. We were scolded harshly if we did not stick to his rules. Nobody will know what we've been through those years. Quarrels happened, my mum was beaten, I was slapped, my brother was terrified, we were scared. We have been living in fear for those years. Then I started growing up, when I reached 16, I didn't want to stay with my mum and my SCS anymore. I was tired. I kept so much hate and fear in me that I could not stand it anymore. Unfortunately, life became worst living with my grandma. I became emotional when I was 17, I smashed an aquarium with my hand and my right hand has scars now. This scars will always remind me of what had happened in those years. It was a mistake, I simply could not control myself anymore. That wasn't my first time losing control, there were several times. Now I'm trying my best to change my life from being negative. This is'nt the life I want to live in. Nobody really understands me. I've been alone all this time. How would it be possible for anyone to understand me if not even my parents understands me. This pain I kept so long inside of me must be set free. If not I can't control myself emotionally. Playing basketball was one way for me to get rid of this misery, I loved the game and I felt good. I've always wondered why my dad had abandoned us. It has been 8 years since he left us. Never seen his face till now, not even a picture. My mum's life wasn't easy either. I understand that. As her son, I was willing to share her pain. She commited suicide before. What does this mean? I could have lost her if she was'nt sent to the hospital in time. I had to protect myself. No one could possibly understand the position I am in. I'm different from others, I simply can't describe. Trust me, you'll never want to live in my footsteps. Growing up, I wanted to leave everything behind and start a new life alone. I had my chance now. I'm away from everything in Kuching but somehow things didn't turn out to be what I thought it will be. Fear and pain is haunting me still. I can never run away from my problems. I must face them. I want to start anew, I want to be myself, I want to be a normal kid living a normal life, I want to leave my complicated life behind, I want to have friends to be with, I don't want to feel alone and stray away. I'm trying my best as possible but somehow its hard to change. I've always hope for answers from God but for this long period of time I can't seem to put my faith in him anymore. I've been living in hurt for too long. I'm trying. That's the way it is. I don't expect anyone to understand me, I have to solve this problem alone...

First Win

Adapting into a new environment was a little hard at first. I'm living with a group of guys from different places and I'm one of the few from Sarawak. Coincidently most of us have an interest in playing basketball. From my first weekend in Miri, we started playing basketball together. Then on the second week of school, we spotted a basketball tournament notice. We then formed a team of 8 players and named our team "Freshmen" because we were all in first year degree. On the 2nd of September we had our first game against Curtin's second group representatives. We lost the match as we were defeated by them around 30 points. I performed badly on that game and was really upset with myself. Playing ball for the rest of the days after that game didn't turn up so well either. Didn't know what happened to me, maybe I was thinking too much and my friends were trying to cheer me up. Yesterday, we had our second game against "All Rookies" (note: Blue Jersey team) a team which had won their first game against a senior team. I had a slow start as i missed a couple of shots and had a few turnovers but our team kept up with the score. In the end our team won by 10+ points. I only scored 4 points but had plenty of rebounds, steals, and assists. As the captain of my team, I am not as experienced as a few of my teammates who are used to playing in official tournaments like these back in Klang. Still not satisfied with my performance and I feel that someone who is more capable than me should become the captain instead. I feel that I could have scored more points if we had better teamwork but I understand that teamwork doesn't come in just a small matter of time. A couple of friends managed to take photos of us playing ball while cheering us on. Unfortunately, I only have a picture of the lakeside because my friends did not take photos of the school yet...haih. We celebrated our first win by having a big dinner in a group of 15 people. Our next game will probably be on next week and we are aiming for another win. Prizes for this tournament is around RM 500 + a trophy. Really hope that we can create a better teamwork throughout this tournament and I'm confident that we can.

Getting ready for the match

Jump Ball

Defensive post

Passing the ball to Heng Siang

Cutting through 2 defenders

Team "Freshmen"

Lakeside and the Island View 1

Lakeside and the Island View 2

* Actually I wanted a jersey with a no #3 on it but it wasn't usable here so instead I got a no# 13 which is actually my lucky number...I think it is because I seem to come across no.13 a lot of times.